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To get an alert every time an article is posted
join the "Get A Life" group (with quotes) in Second Life
| Monday, February 26, 2007 |
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To Serve (wo)Man
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 HEY HEARTUN ~ Please, Miss, do not start my letter off with "Hey Heartun." Even when i am not role playing i would never say that. Why i am writing is that i am very subservient and i like strong women. i went to the Isle of Lesbos -- oh, yeah, i am male -- and offered myself to anyone who wanted me as thier servent but no one seemed to take me seriously. Some even accused me of trying to pick up women -- but i'm not looking for sex, just a woman to order me around. ~ AT YOUR SERVICE
 DEAR AT YOUR SERVICE ~ Yeah, technically you are not violating the rules there at the Isle of Lesbos. They allow men so long as the men don't hit on women and expect to 'get lucky.' But you picked the Isle of Lesbos! I mean, why not hang out in a Welcome Area or a fishing villiage or a racetrack?
Also, when you say you offered yourself to anyone who wants you -- well, that isn't a great sales technique. You no doubt sounded needy. I'm sure the "Hey, I'm here... lets party!" technique of picking up a fetish partner works fine if you're in a fetish where things are largely equal and there are other people looking for what you've got. Heterosexuals, homosexuals and Furries seem to have a fairly equal volume of compliments -- but the sad truth is that many fetishes do not have equal counterparts.
If you are into pretending to be a big baby, and you like women, you're going to have to stand in line. Like being a sub? Also stand in line -- or be willing to share. Into Scat or Water Sports? There are far more receivers than givers.
What you're doing is a longshot too, although not impossible. You may not be into sex, but you ARE going to an island looking for a woman and you picked a whole island of women who are also looking for women -- not you. Then you went and threw out your appeal broadly (no pun) and probably too soon when you should have just sat there and waited. Of course no one was interested when you said something like "I want to be the slave/servant/sub of any woman here." You were confirming that you are a guy looking for a girl on Lesbos, and trust me -- they've seen that before. Also, when you give someting away for free and offer it to everyone without first raising that thing's value you are devaluing it completely.
 I'd recommend that you go elsewhere to look for your Mistress. Failing that, if you are insistant about staying on Lesbos with your quest you should sit there and be quiet -- for a few weeks. Think like a petitioner to a Shaolin temple -- kneel quietly and only speak when spoken to. Watch others for hours. If asked, tell the questioner that you are looking for someone to serve in a non-sexual way. Be ready for rejection, but with patience -- grasshopper -- you could eventually find someone who wants to take you home to clean her windows. ~ HEARTUN BREAKER
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If you have a question for "Get A Life" just email HeartunBreaker@gmail.com . All submissions become the property of
HeartunBreaker.com . We reserve the right to edit submissions for brevity and clarity. No 'real' or 'game' names will be published. No part of this service may be reproduced in any form without the express written permission of Heartun Breaker, except that an individual may download and/or forward articles via e-mail to a reasonable number of recipients for personal, non-commercial purposes. Labels: Dom(me)/sub, lesbians |
posted by Heartun Breaker @ 9:19 PM
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| Tuesday, February 20, 2007 |
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What the Hell is a "Transgender Lesbian?"
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 HEY HEARTUN ~ I was hanging out in Waterhead the other day and someone invited me to join this group called Hot Lesbo Accountants. Well, I'm not a lesbian.. I'm just a dude. Thing is the person who invited me is a dude too!
So I ask him what the hell is going on and stuff, and one thing leads to another, and he starts in with the claim that he is a 'transgender lesbian' -- a term I had never heard of before.
What the hell is a 'transgender lesbian?' ~ STRAIGHT DUDE
DEAR STRAIGHT DUDE ~ You think furries, goreans, scat lovers and privists face derision by others? Try being a male lesbian or transgender lesbian. The first is a guy who looks like a guy but loves girl-on-girl action -- the other believes he is a lesbian trapped in a man's body and wants to be treated as a girl. Either way, both the straight and GayBLT (gay, bi, lesbian, transgender) communities tend to think this guy is a freak. Here's how a typical transgender lesbian pick-up attempt goes here in Second Life.
TGLdude: Hi! I'm a transgender lesbian!
Lesbian: WTF?
TGLdude: I'm a lesbian trapped in a guy's body in real life, but here in Second Life I get to be who I really am -- a lesbian.
Lesbian: So you're a guy?
TGLdude: Well, not really. I love women and am grossed out by penises. I'm a lesbian all the time inside.
Lesbian: Go get therapy you freak. You're a dude who likes women. You are straight!
Second Life makes these kinds of things common. I mean, it is widely believed that half of the women working as strippers, 'escorts' and in other aspects of the sex trade are really men pretending to be women. What is the difference between a guy pretending to be a woman so he can make some money, or because he gets off on the illicit sex and one who thinks he is really a woman on the inside? It's all in the eye of the beholder. But most of the rest of the world sees transgender lesbians and male lesbians as straight guys who are into lesbians.
I write it all down to role playing. At least the guy you talked with was honest, if creepy. ~ HEARTUN BREAKER
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If you have a question for "Get A Life" just email HeartunBreaker@gmail.com . All submissions become the property of
HeartunBreaker.com . We reserve the right to edit submissions for brevity and clarity. No 'real' or 'game' names will be published. No part of this service may be reproduced in any form without the express written permission of Heartun Breaker, except that an individual may download and/or forward articles via e-mail to a reasonable number of recipients for personal, non-commercial purposes. Labels: gender bending |
| posted by Heartun Breaker @ 11:47 PM
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| Monday, February 19, 2007 |
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Spat For Spice Ends Honeymoon
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 HEY HEARTUN ~ I met this woman in Second life and we were 100 percent compatible. I honestly love her. One night I decided to spice things up by getting naughty and picking a fight with her. It backfired big time! She got really upset. I tried to explain, but she didn't believe me. When I told her that I love her she really flipped out! (We are both married in real life, to others)
So now she's muted me and I have no other way of communicating with her. If I can't get her back I am going to publicly commit Second Life suicide by deleting this account. ~BOBBYBROWN ROMEO
DEAR BOBYBROWN ROMEO ~ Let me get this straight... you intentionally picked a fight with your baby so you could get your rocks off better, didn't tell her that this was a role play scenario for you, and are surprised that she got hurt and left you?
I don't know if anything I tell you could possibly make sense to you because if sense were gasoline you wouldn't have enough gas to ride a pissants motorcycle around the INSIDE of a Cheerio! The phrase "OMG You Are Dumb" was invented for you. Your kind make me sick.
Forget about the SL 'suicide' and do the real thing if you can't get this woman back. And about that? Clean up your own messes. I'm here to help people who don't intentionally bring shit down on themselves. You asshole. ~ HEARTUN BREAKER
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If you have a question for "Get A Life" just email HeartunBreaker@gmail.com . All submissions become the property of
HeartunBreaker.com . We reserve the right to edit submissions for brevity and clarity. No 'real' or 'game' names will be published. No part of this service may be reproduced in any form without the express written permission of Heartun Breaker, except that an individual may download and/or forward articles via e-mail to a reasonable number of recipients for personal, non-commercial purposes. Labels: abusive lover |
| posted by Heartun Breaker @ 9:57 AM
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| Thursday, February 15, 2007 |
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How Much Cybering Is Too Much?
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HEY HEARTUN ~ How much cybering is too much? ~ HANDY MAN
DEAR HANDY MAN ~ For me, three times a day is the limit. Four is too much. Your mileage may vary.
Now in men, stroking the one-eyed trouser snake too much can result in an over production of sex hormones and neurotransmitters like acetylcholine, dopamine and serotonin.
Too much of those things and your adrenal glands can change your body chemistry. Now, jerkin' the gerkin is a healthy thing, but too much (while hard to define) can lead to addiction and both psychological and physiological imbalances. Side effects to look for include:
- Feeling tired all the time
- Lower back pain
- Hair loss or thinning
- Pulling the "Semi" (or half-rection)
- Premature ejaculation (by yourself!!)
- Fuzzy vision (not blindness)
- Pain in the balls, taint, nut sack, tail bone or lower tummy
Semen leakage is also a sign that the parasympathetic nerve is weakening from over stimulation. The parasympathetic nerve shuts the ejaculation valve and maintains a strong erection, but it can weaken if you choke your chicken too much.
Experts say men should keep their ejaculation frequency down to two-to-three times per week, but they can have more sexual activity if they learn how to orgasm without ejaculation. Doing so can make your junk work better too.
Some things you can do to improve the quality of your monkey-spanking sessions is to reduce the frequency, eat more soybean products, cut down on the caffeine, snack on more nutty foods like sunflower seeds, drop the red meat and dairy in favor of fruit and veggies.
Drink more water and ditch the soda. And just in case you ever get a real-life girl to honk on your love muscle - eat peaches and cut down on the salt so it tastes better. ~ HEARTUN BREAKER
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If you have a question for "Get A Life" just email HeartunBreaker@gmail.com . All submissions become the property of
HeartunBreaker.com . We reserve the right to edit submissions for brevity and clarity. No 'real' or 'game' names will be published. No part of this service may be reproduced in any form without the express written permission of Heartun Breaker, except that an individual may download and/or forward articles via e-mail to a reasonable number of recipients for personal, non-commercial purposes. Labels: cybersex, masturbation |
| posted by Heartun Breaker @ 3:57 PM
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| Wednesday, February 14, 2007 |
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Leave Her or Love Her -- Those Are Your Choices
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 HEY HEARTUN ~ My first online love affair ended on what was supposed to be my wedding day -- and I never saw it coming. I got a 'dear Avatar' note card and no real explanation. I was hurt and confused. After that I was cautious for a long time.
Then I met 'her.' We were friends first, doing everything -- fishing, killing monsters, racing cars, clubbing, shopping and spending quiet time at home -- the last one being her favorite, and I like it too! She's even moved into my place and we share a garden at another location. It's been wonderful to log in and have someone there for me.
The problem is I feel like I'm trapped. Every time I log on to Second Life I'm immediately greeted by and I feel smothered. I have lots of friends that I've introduced her to, so we now share the same friends, and I'm constantly asked where she's at if she is not with me.
Before we met, I loved to explore new places and I haven't done that in a long time. She seems like she has a specific agenda but she's not talking. To make it worse, she lives in Australia and has limited bandwidth -- she can't rezz quickly after teleporting, she has inventory problems and several other frustrating issues.
This kind of stuff happens a lot and I feel obliged to keep her company. I've tried helping her overcome the connectivity issues but because of her remote location -- those issues are here to stay.
Heartun, I think I'm having connection problems as well. ~ TAINTED LOVE
DEAR TAINTED LOVE ~ Rebound love is a sweet thing, but like cotton candy -- it can make you sick if you get too much. You've found yourself a nice girl, and you love her for all the right reasons -- but you fell in love on the rebound. That really sucks, for the both of you.
She senses in you the need for something more, and she's trying to fill that need by occupying your every moment. She'll try to be online all the time just so she doesn't miss you. She'll hang out with your (now) mutual friends when you are not there so she can better understand you and please you vicariously through your friends. Her whole world revolves around you, because she can tell she is somehow inadequate.
The real shame here is that she IS a nice girl. And you two were REALLY friends... but 'friends with benefits' turned into friends who won't leave after the party is over.
It sucks, but you've got to let her know -- in no uncertain terms -- what you feel for her. Let her know that you need some space. Tell her you don't see the two of you together 10 years from now and she deserves better. Give her the "it's not you, its me" speech... but leave her or love her. Those are your choices. ~ HEARTUN BREAKER
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If you have a question for "Get A Life" just email HeartunBreaker@gmail.com . All submissions become the property of
HeartunBreaker.com . We reserve the right to edit submissions for brevity and clarity. No 'real' or 'game' names will be published. No part of this service may be reproduced in any form without the express written permission of Heartun Breaker, except that an individual may download and/or forward articles via e-mail to a reasonable number of recipients for personal, non-commercial purposes. Labels: unrequited love |
| posted by Heartun Breaker @ 9:39 PM
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| Tuesday, February 13, 2007 |
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The 5 Minute Virtual Relationship
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(Name Withheld): hi, your avatar is pretty cute
(Name Withheld): what are u doing for live
(Name Withheld): living
Heartun Breaker: I am a high school teacher. You?
(Name Withheld): i deall with cloth i inport them
Heartun Breaker: That sounds very cool. Business is fascinating.
(VERY LONG PAUSE)
Heartun Breaker: Hey, I'm sure your friends think you are awesome... but you take too long to answer, don't say much about yourself in your bio, and are boreing the hell out of me.
(Name Withheld): hey am here just checking my mail
Heartun Breaker: This relationship is stifiling me... I NEED OUT! Gahhhhh!
(Name Withheld): what??????
Heartun Breaker: I'm so sorry... but I'm dumping you. Please, it isn't you... it's me. Lets still be friends, huh?
(Name Withheld): dumping?
Heartun Breaker: and I want my stuff back, but I don't want to see you ... so put it in a box and send it through a friend. And I'd better see my favorite tshirt... you know that one you like to sleep in? If you don't give it back you'll never see that earring you left at my place! I swear, I'll flush it right down the toilet!
(Name Withheld): hey what do u mean?
Heartun Breaker: You're always arguing with me. I swear, you're just like your mother! Criticizing me, and arguing with me... that's all you two do. I just can't stand it any more. I'd rather chew my own arm off than have to hear your negative crap any more! OMG, just send my stuff back. I love that Led Zepplin t-shirt!
(Name Withheld): hey do u want to buy it?
Heartun Breaker: I can't believer you! Trying to SELL me my own Led Zepplin t-shirt? What unmitigated gall!
Heartun Breaker: You never even LIKED Led Zepplin! I always had to listen to that Jay Z crap too.... oh, and Snoop Dog? Jesus fucking hell!
(Name Withheld): did u know me before?
Heartun Breaker: Before that night in Toronto? At the film festival when we fell in love.. in a drunken night of debochery? No. And now, looking back, I wish we had never broken into Vince Vaughn's hotel suite and short sheeted his bed and put cellophane over his toilet seat. (Name Withheld), I so loved you then... I knew we were RIGHT for eachother... and you went and spoiled it all.
(Name Withheld): are u full?
Heartun Breaker: Now you're saying I 'm full of shit! Jesus girl, just give me back my fucking Led Zepplin shirt. Why are you so mean?
Heartun Breaker: My god, I got my nipples pierced for you!
Heartun Breaker: And I don't even LIKE piercings!
(Name Withheld): what do mean with all this shit?
Heartun Breaker: You never did understand me!
(Name Withheld): okay
(Name Withheld): what do u mean thebn?
Heartun Breaker: thebn?
(Name Withheld): i mean then?
(Name Withheld): do u know me before
Heartun Breaker: I don't feel that I know you at all... not even now.
(Name Withheld): so then what are u talking about
Heartun Breaker:I'm talking about US... I'm talking about LOVE... I' talking about what COULD HAVE BEEN!!! Why do you torture me like this?
(Name Withheld): like how
Heartun Breaker:Like how? Like, you are holding my Led Zepplin shirt "hostage" to get back at me for loving you too much! How about that "like how"?
(Name Withheld): should i send u some shirt?
Heartun Breaker: "Some" shirt? What do you mean "some" shirt? Did you ... did you LOSE my Led Zepplin shirt? Oh... MY.... GOD!!!!
(VERY LONG PAUSE)
Heartun Breaker: What? Now the silent treatment? Fuck you!! Fuck you!!! Fuck you!! FUCK YOU!!!! You Led Zepplin hating WHORE!!!! You'll never see that earring. And those movies I took of us are going up on the fucking web!!
(Name Withheld): hey ill call fbi for u if u dont stop it
Heartun Breaker: Just give me back my Led Zepplin shirt. Please?
(Name Withheld): when did i take t from ypou?
(Name Withheld): talk to me
(Name Withheld): because i dont realy know what nis wrong with you
(Name Withheld): i guess you must be crazy
Heartun Breaker: We could have been so good for each other. Who would have expected it to end like this?
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If you have a question for "Get A Life" just email HeartunBreaker@gmail.com . All submissions become the property of
HeartunBreaker.com . We reserve the right to edit submissions for brevity and clarity. No 'real' or 'game' names will be published. No part of this service may be reproduced in any form without the express written permission of Heartun Breaker, except that an individual may download and/or forward articles via e-mail to a reasonable number of recipients for personal, non-commercial purposes. Labels: abusive lover, real life conflicts, unrequited love |
| posted by Heartun Breaker @ 6:38 PM
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| Sunday, February 11, 2007 |
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Gor Gal Pal Turns Second Life Stalker Nightmare
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 HEY HEARTUN ~ I'm going freaking (can I say 'fucking' here?) nuts! I have been at Second Life for about two months now and when I first got here (oh, I'm really 27 and male from Cincinnati and am a banker) I played around with Gor for a while. It didn't stick, but this girl I met in Ko-Ro-Ba really DID stick, if you know what I mean.
Hey, I'm sorry I came on all strong with her and all. I was recently out of a divorce and new to all this online crap. Anyway, when I broke it off with her I tried to explain that I just wasn't comfortable with where were were going and that she was a nice girl -- but I just got in too fast and too deep. At first she seemed to take it well, but then I noticed that when I was at some of my favorite hangouts she would just be there watching me. I muted her, but she knows where I hang out.
Yesterday while I was playing Tringo at the IceDragon (shout out to mah peeps! woot!) she was sitting behind me! Worse than that she IMs people I know and asks them to forward messages to me. I can't ditch this alt, because I have a lot of friends now. And I don't think its right that I gotta stop going to my regular hang outs. What the hell? ~ REBOUND LOTHARIO
DEAR REBOUND LOTHARIO ~ What is it about Gor that attracts you post-divorce idiots? (Note to Goreans opening emails now: The prior statement does not say all Goreans are post-divorce idiots... so cool your jets.)
Look at it from the girls perspective. She's needy and feels inadequate in her life and finds a very structured world where she is valued. Sometimes she is valued in exact terms by having a blue book value in the Gorean slave market. Other times she is valued for performing hours of loving labor like sweeping a house or doing dishes. Men want her! And she never has to think for herself, which makes her feel good. Then you show up, pretend to see that special "her" that no one else can see -- and now doing the dishes doesn't quite hold the same attraction for her that it once did.
Then you back away. Why wouldn't she stalk the shit out of you? You practically begged for it!
You say you don't want to ditch your current avatar's account so you can take this one of two ways. The mature thing to do is to ignore her and wait for her to just go away. If she's ignored, you know she eventually will withdraw to some place safe -- like Gor. Then there's the Gorean way o ditching her.
Start playing in Ko-Ro-Ba. Make up with her. Enslave her. Then sell her to someone who won't allow her to talk with you. As I understand it she would have to obey her new master or be subjected to group punishment. ~ HEARTUN BREAKER
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If you have a question for "Get A Life" just email HeartunBreaker@gmail.com . All submissions become the property of
HeartunBreaker.com . We reserve the right to edit submissions for brevity and clarity. No 'real' or 'game' names will be published. No part of this service may be reproduced in any form without the express written permission of Heartun Breaker, except that an individual may download and/or forward articles via e-mail to a reasonable number of recipients for personal, non-commercial purposes. Labels: Gor, unrequited love |
| posted by Heartun Breaker @ 6:36 PM
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| Tuesday, February 6, 2007 |
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"Give Me Your Heart": Go Fish!
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 HEY HEARTUN ~ I'm a guy and supposed to be into guy like things, and fishing stereotypically falls into that category -- but ever since my girlfriend has taken up with virtual fishing at Neo-Realms Fishing Camp in Alston. She's freaking addicted!! I can't stand how boooorrrrrreeeeeing it is to hang out with her there. I mean, she stands there with a fishing rod and every once in a while a "fish" gets dumped into her inventory. She gets so excited when she gets a new kind of fish, but she doesn't do anything with them! WTF?
We used to hang out at this cool club where we met. Now she drags me to this fish pond. I hate it! ~ BAIT HATE
DEAR BAIT HATE ~ I'm trying to figure out how you built up so much anger. I'm guessing one of two things: either you complain a lot or you don't ever complain. They sound like opposites, but they're two sides of the same coin. If you are always going on and on to your girlfriend about the many things that bother you -- you are frustrated because she stopped listening to you a long time ago. If you never complain, you also feel frustrated because she isn't listening to what you aren't saying.
Either way you have to engage her in a conversation where you let her know about your discomfort in an assertive but non-aggressive way. Start out with a bunch of "I" statements. Like "I am really bored when we fish all the time" and "I would like to go dancing with you more" or "I really don't like fishing and this isn't working for me." (DANGER: This last one is very close to a threat. Do NOT threaten her. Under no circumstances should you say anything along the lines of "I really don't like fishing and will leave you if you keep doing it." Threats don't work.)
She may not listen at first because this kind of talk from you will be new to her. If after hearing you she can't give you what you need in this relationship -- throw her back. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. ~ HEARTUN BREAKER
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If you have a question for "Get A Life" just email HeartunBreaker@gmail.com . All submissions become the property of
HeartunBreaker.com . We reserve the right to edit submissions for brevity and clarity. No 'real' or 'game' names will be published. No part of this service may be reproduced in any form without the express written permission of Heartun Breaker, except that an individual may download and/or forward articles via e-mail to a reasonable number of recipients for personal, non-commercial purposes. Labels: unrequited love |
| posted by Heartun Breaker @ 10:38 PM
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| Sunday, February 4, 2007 |
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My Love Hates Me, and All I Can Do Is Listen
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HEY HEARTUN ~ I never thought I would be writing you, but I am (forgive me) heartbroken. I started playing Second Life about a year ago and met the love of my life right away. (Name withheld) and I had a love sweeter than any. We exchanged (real life) contact information, and while we didn't talk about hooking up (in real life) we were headed there.
Our SL wedding was going to be a blow out. I spent far more RL money than I care to admit, but (name withheld) helped out with what I TOLD him it cost and all the details were taken care of. All our friends were invited. We registered on SLExchange. We bought a place in Ravenglass. Our new home was to be a Barnesworth original.
I don't remember everything involved, though, because I lost a lot of my memory surrounding the week or so before my RL car accident. When I got home from the hospital I found his many emails, phone messages and snail-mail letters. The early ones were worried, then pleading, then angry... then none.
We had partnered a few weeks before the wedding, but when I finally came back to the game after three months in intensive care and rehabilitation we were no longer partners. This was like four months ago. He has had me on 'mute' ever since and dropped me from his friends list altogether. Most of our mutual friends sided with him and don't believe me. I've asked several to explain what happened to me to him but I don't think they did.
So I got on with my life and thought I was over the pain when I ran into him the other day at NeoRealms fishing camp in Alston and I had to listen to him curse me out and say the meanest things to me... all the while he has me muted so I can't tell him what happened. I have been crying all the time since then. He hates me. I love him, and I can't tell him. Oh Heartun, I'm so sad! ~ MUTED LOVE
DEAR MUTED LOVE ~ Well, you can't blame the guy. I mean, that story of yours -- IF it is for real -- is a cliche right out of Leo McCarey's 1957 film "An Affair To Remember" with Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr. I mean, Kerr's character Terry McKay has nothing on you!
Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy hates girl, girl lives in quiet misery. It's a tear jerker!! (Kind readers, if you haven't seen it get some tissues and NetFlix this movie.)
So you've gotten to the part of the movie where Kerry Grant's character Nickie Ferrante comes into her room and calls her all kinds of names, and she just sucks it up. Only you HAVE to suck it up because you can't talk with him when he has you on mute. Do I have this right so far? Good.
But you forgot. You have his email address, his snail-mail address and his phone number. Mail him your hospital bill. If he doesn't catch on and come running into your arms just continue on with your life -- because this isn't a movie. There aren't always happy endings to story book beginnings. ~ HEARTUN BREAKER
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If you have a question for "Get A Life" just email HeartunBreaker@gmail.com . All submissions become the property of
HeartunBreaker.com . We reserve the right to edit submissions for brevity and clarity. No 'real' or 'game' names will be published. No part of this service may be reproduced in any form without the express written permission of Heartun Breaker, except that an individual may download and/or forward articles via e-mail to a reasonable number of recipients for personal, non-commercial purposes. Labels: abusive lover, real life conflicts |
| posted by Heartun Breaker @ 10:06 PM
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| Saturday, February 3, 2007 |
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Second Life Is Like An Acid Trip
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 HEY HEARTUN ~ So, I have number of "friends" in SL who I find vaguely threatening. In real life I don't enjoy hanging around people who either ignore me or leave the room without looking at me or (who fail to respond) to me when I say "Hi, how are you today?"
So, the question is, why do I tolerate this behaviour in what is
supposed to be a game, and I assume(!) fun....?
How do others deal with the fickle nature of people in SL? With those who
virtually stalk you, then drop you? Is this normal behaviour?
I know I can just take them off my list, but for some reason I'm finding
this hard to do. Is SL making a victim of me? ~ BRUISED BETTY
DEAR BRUISED BETTY ~ Second Life is like LSD. If you are a well rounded and generally nice person when you are under its influence you will generally have an intensely nice experience. If you are an asshole, well... you become an intensified asshole. And good luck with that.
(NOTE: Don't do drugs. Drugs are bad, mmm-kay?)
 In Second Life some people say "excuse me" when they bump into a strange avatar, some just keep on going. Why? Because they can. There are very few social social repercussions for bad behavior in SL. What? You gonna ban someone because they bumped you? Or didn't return a hearty 'Hello?' No.
"But Heartun, it just isn't right!" you say. I agree. But unlike you and me and a significant minority of humans on this planet, not everyone adheres to the generally accepted (but poorly defined, outside of Judith Martin) rules of behavior we call 'common courtesy.' Many people only do something if it has a direct and immediate benefit for them. They are engaged in some activity, they see you say "Hi" but they don't want to disturb what they are doing so they ignore you. Later they may see you and since they are bored and want to engage you in conversation they will track you down and attach themselves to you like a leach.
It's all about what is in it for them.
Not everyone is like this. And don't assume that someone exhibiting this behavior one time is necessarily that self centered -- they could be dealing with a RL potty emergency, or be engaged in IMs or surfing the web in another window to the exclusion of their SL presence. I think we all get trapped in that once in a while. But persistent friends of (their) convenience abound here. In real life they know that there would be consequences for ignoring your "Hi" as you pass in the halls at work... but there are no real consequences for them here.
Chinese General Sun Tzu said to "choose your friends well as your enemies will choose you." I think that applies to online "friends" as well. No, a non-friend is not necessarily an enemy, but they can drag down your sense of well being and enjoyment of your time here. Choose your friends well. Cull your Friends list often. If you are unsure about someone, don't worry about dropping them.
Good people will understand you are just trying to preserve your sense of fun here -- and you can always extend another friendship request. Just don't delete friendships while angry or in a hurry. Be fair in your periodic evaluation of your list. And it's OK to IM someone and give them the message "We haven't talked in a while. I'm cleaning up my Friends list and culling you. I enjoyed talking with you that one time. Please IM me if you want to hang out again." ~ HEARTUN BREAKER
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If you have a question for "Get A Life" just email HeartunBreaker@gmail.com . All submissions become the property of
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Disclaimer: All submissions to "Get a Life" become the property of HeartunBreaker.com. We reserve the right to edit submissions for brevity
and clarity. No 'real' or 'game' names will be published. No part of this service may be reproduced in any form
without the express written permission of Heartun Breaker, except that an individual may download and/ or forward
articles via e-mail to a reasonable number of recipients for personal, non-commercial purposes.
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