HEY HEARTUN: I'm the female partner in a 'triangular' relationship involving The Mistress, her male sub and me. I really think that The Mistress and I have something spiritual, and that the sub is just a sex toy for her but he's been with The Mistress longer than I have. And lately when I'm fucking The Mistress, I get the impression that she's thinking of her sub some times. What do I do? ~ UNEQUAL PARTNER
DEAR UNEQUAL: A 'triangular' relationship is a complex one, and can only work if the sub and the partner (that's you!) of the mistress also have a mutual understanding of each other's needs and feelings. If either of them does not feel comfortable with the situation it wont work. A sub can be a sex toy who is just happy to make his or her mistress happy in any possible way and in return get affection. To some people its just fun roleplay, to others an erotic experience. Either way, even if you and Sub Dude are never great pals, you've got to talk with him frequently -- after all, you both share the love of your mistress.