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Monday, June 11, 2007
The 'A,B,C's of Picking Up Dumb Chicks (redux)

HEY HEARTUN: I am new and have no money and my skin is ugly and my hair is ugly and my clothing is lame and I don't have no land and I don't get any women. Help me. ~ WANTIN SOME

DEAR WANTIN: The good news is that there is someone for everyone in Second Life. The bad news is, the woman you want may not be the woman who will settle for you. I can't fix you. I can, however, get you started on a road of fixing your self. Lets start with the easy stuff. Go to a Welcome Area, like in Ahern or Waterhead, and ask the people there (just once, or you are an annoying begger) if they have any freebies -- especially clothing, hair and a man skin. There are some nice male freebie skins, but you may have to ask around. That's it for the easy stuff. Next up, you jumble all your thoughts into one long stream. Dont do that. It confuses stupid women and is a turn off to the non-stupid. You need to target stupid women. To do that it only takes two things. First, don't ever say anything that Tarzan couldn't say. Second, for every question or statement you make about yourself you should ask or make two about her. Here's an example.

    Wantin Some: Hi. You look good.
    Dumb Girl: Me?
    Wantin Some: Yeah. :D
    Dumb Girl: TY :)
    Wantin Some: V^vv^V Howlzzzzz V^vv^V
    (uncomfortable pause)
    Wantin Some: You smell good too.
    Dumb Girl: Oh! You are so clever. Can I be your sub?
    Wantin Some: Call Me Master.
    Dumb Girl: Yes Master!

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posted by Heartun Breaker @ 9:35 PM  
  • At July 3, 2007 at 8:40 AM, Anonymous Brandi Lundquist said…

    There are so many "gentlemen" (and I use the term loosely) who need to read this! Their second lives would be much happier if they did.

    At least I know mine would be happier if they did.

  • At July 8, 2007 at 11:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    hey whats up, just wanted to say im glad im not a dumb chick. see ya tonight. after we kill some monsters we should go pick on newbies. Blondie

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