HEY HEARTUN I have made some choices that have made my second life more complicated than my first life could ever be. I met this guy off the rebound from my girlfriend leaving Second Life. He's a decent guy and well I let things get hot and heavy and I quickly sold him on the idea of being exclusively mine. Well things went well we then one day I surprised him with an SL pregnancy, which took him aback but after a short while he really got into the idea.
Then I met this girl. She was outgoing, exciting and very charismatic. We started Instant Messaging each other and spending a lot of time together -- shopping -- you know, the usual things. It was all innocent till she took me to this store that sold cages...yes I said cages. It was filled with BDSM toys and various things of that sort. I was very apprehensive at first as I had never imagined those sort of activities in my life. Well, that quickly took a spin, we were fooling around with the cages and what not, just being silly, then in response to something she said I told her that I was never really the controlling type. I told her that I had always just followed the instructions and lead of others.
That took the cake right there. This girl knew what she had to do from that point on. She started giving me orders -- orders that were quite bizarre to me but for some reason I couldn't stop and didn't seem to want to. I really got into being, as she called me, her "pet".
This relationship started taking me over until two days ago when for the first time the situation got sexual with this girl and her girlfriend walked in on us. Then my guilt started eating me up and I knew I just had to tell my boyfriend about this. I wrote him a nice long notecard explaining all the lies I had told him and what I had done and wouldn’t you know it, the sod wasn’t even angry! All he said was that he knew that I had enjoyed girls before and he understood. He continued in his reply telling me that he had had BDSM experiences and had enjoyed dominatrix behaviours. He also made it clear that he would enjoy watching and participating in my actions with other women. While I know his reply wasn't bad -- it sort of disappointed me. Here's why.
- I lied to him. Should my deceitful actions be dismissed that quickly?
- I think subconsciously I have lost interest in my relations with him -- or men in general. I don’t know maybe I am just lost.
- I think the fact that he wants to join in these other activities with me has turned me off him. For some reason I don’t understand, this being dominated activity that I have gotten into only seems to arouse me with women and very select few at that.
I don’t know what I have done other than complicate my SL life and been deceitful and I am not so sure what I am seeking right now but maybe this whole story can be summed up into one question. Should I leave this man or should I leave both the man and the woman and start entirely a new? ~ MOTHERHOOD BOUND
DEAR MOTHERHOOD BOUND ~ That lesbianic bondage love can sure have a strong allure, but you should have thought about that before you decided to get pregnant. Right now your virtual hormones are all over the map -- and there's no way you can make such an important decision in your condition.
Wait till you have the baby to decide, then do what is best for the baby. And if that involves ditching the dude make sure to be generous in your visitation arrangment with him. ~ HEARTUN BREAKER
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Labels: Cheating, Dom(me)/sub