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Tuesday, February 13, 2007
The 5 Minute Virtual Relationship

(Name Withheld): hi, your avatar is pretty cute
(Name Withheld): what are u doing for live
(Name Withheld): living

Heartun Breaker: I am a high school teacher. You?

(Name Withheld): i deall with cloth i inport them

Heartun Breaker: That sounds very cool. Business is fascinating.

(VERY LONG PAUSE)

Heartun Breaker: Hey, I'm sure your friends think you are awesome... but you take too long to answer, don't say much about yourself in your bio, and are boreing the hell out of me.

(Name Withheld): hey am here just checking my mail

Heartun Breaker: This relationship is stifiling me... I NEED OUT! Gahhhhh!

(Name Withheld): what??????

Heartun Breaker: I'm so sorry... but I'm dumping you. Please, it isn't you... it's me. Lets still be friends, huh?

(Name Withheld): dumping?

Heartun Breaker: and I want my stuff back, but I don't want to see you ... so put it in a box and send it through a friend. And I'd better see my favorite tshirt... you know that one you like to sleep in? If you don't give it back you'll never see that earring you left at my place! I swear, I'll flush it right down the toilet!

(Name Withheld): hey what do u mean?

Heartun Breaker: You're always arguing with me. I swear, you're just like your mother! Criticizing me, and arguing with me... that's all you two do. I just can't stand it any more. I'd rather chew my own arm off than have to hear your negative crap any more! OMG, just send my stuff back. I love that Led Zepplin t-shirt!

(Name Withheld): hey do u want to buy it?

Heartun Breaker: I can't believer you! Trying to SELL me my own Led Zepplin t-shirt? What unmitigated gall!
Heartun Breaker: You never even LIKED Led Zepplin! I always had to listen to that Jay Z crap too.... oh, and Snoop Dog? Jesus fucking hell!

(Name Withheld): did u know me before?

Heartun Breaker: Before that night in Toronto? At the film festival when we fell in love.. in a drunken night of debochery? No. And now, looking back, I wish we had never broken into Vince Vaughn's hotel suite and short sheeted his bed and put cellophane over his toilet seat. (Name Withheld), I so loved you then... I knew we were RIGHT for eachother... and you went and spoiled it all.

(Name Withheld): are u full?

Heartun Breaker: Now you're saying I 'm full of shit! Jesus girl, just give me back my fucking Led Zepplin shirt. Why are you so mean?
Heartun Breaker: My god, I got my nipples pierced for you!
Heartun Breaker: And I don't even LIKE piercings!

(Name Withheld): what do mean with all this shit?

Heartun Breaker: You never did understand me!

(Name Withheld): okay

(Name Withheld): what do u mean thebn?

Heartun Breaker: thebn?

(Name Withheld): i mean then?

(Name Withheld): do u know me before

Heartun Breaker: I don't feel that I know you at all... not even now.

(Name Withheld): so then what are u talking about

Heartun Breaker:I'm talking about US... I'm talking about LOVE... I' talking about what COULD HAVE BEEN!!! Why do you torture me like this?

(Name Withheld): like how

Heartun Breaker:Like how? Like, you are holding my Led Zepplin shirt "hostage" to get back at me for loving you too much! How about that "like how"?

(Name Withheld): should i send u some shirt?

Heartun Breaker: "Some" shirt? What do you mean "some" shirt? Did you ... did you LOSE my Led Zepplin shirt? Oh... MY.... GOD!!!!

(VERY LONG PAUSE)

Heartun Breaker: What? Now the silent treatment? Fuck you!! Fuck you!!! Fuck you!! FUCK YOU!!!! You Led Zepplin hating WHORE!!!! You'll never see that earring. And those movies I took of us are going up on the fucking web!!

(Name Withheld): hey ill call fbi for u if u dont stop it

Heartun Breaker: Just give me back my Led Zepplin shirt. Please?

(Name Withheld): when did i take t from ypou?
(Name Withheld): talk to me
(Name Withheld): because i dont realy know what nis wrong with you
(Name Withheld): i guess you must be crazy

Heartun Breaker: We could have been so good for each other. Who would have expected it to end like this?






--

If you have a question for "Get A Life" just email HeartunBreaker@gmail.com . All submissions become the property of
HeartunBreaker.com .  We reserve the right to edit submissions for brevity and clarity. No 'real' or 'game' names will be published. No part of this service may be reproduced in any form without the express written permission of Heartun Breaker, except that an individual may download and/or forward articles via e-mail to a reasonable number of recipients for personal, non-commercial purposes. 

Labels: , ,

posted by Heartun Breaker @ 6:38 PM  
8 Comments:
  • At February 12, 2007 at 7:47 AM, Blogger ZATZAi said…

    Looks like you were talking to an Alice bot. ;-)

     
  • At February 13, 2007 at 9:30 AM, Blogger Ciri said…

    Not eating while reading this article is highly recommended!
    My favorite shirt just suffered...

     
  • At February 13, 2007 at 6:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    If I had a Led Zeplin t-shirt in game I would give you one!

     
  • At February 13, 2007 at 8:33 PM, Anonymous SpaceAce said…

    It looks as if you were griefing this poor bastard. Shame, shame.

     
  • At February 14, 2007 at 8:25 PM, Anonymous SpaceAce Wormser Is Gay said…

    Looks like she got contacted in IM by the other person. Not the other way around Space. You fucking griefing asshole.

     
  • At February 24, 2007 at 7:17 AM, Anonymous SpaceAce said…

    OMG!!! OMG!!! You called me gay! I've been griefed! I feel so...humiliated.

     
  • At February 25, 2007 at 8:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Space,

    You should feel humiliated. Would that it were so. The fact that you are not is only further proof that you are not capable of the full human experience.

    You are one of the hollow people who, while fully capable of reason, thought and success in society, is incapable of any empathy, compassion or concern for others that they do not directly benefit from (wife, mother, child etc.).

    I know you won't understand me when I say this, perhaps you will think I am just trying to belittle you, but I'm not... I pray for you often.

    Other people feel happier than you do because they open themselves to others. You can start developing your compassion, and one day you may be happy too. I wish this for you.

     
  • At February 26, 2007 at 7:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Me, I have to salute SpaceAce Wormser... if not for his jackass antics in Ahern Welcome Area, I might still be hanging around there and never gone off to find a real Second Life. (Real? hmmm)

     
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Disclaimer: All submissions to "Get a Life" become the property of HeartunBreaker.com. We reserve the right to edit submissions for brevity and clarity. No 'real' or 'game' names will be published. No part of this service may be reproduced in any form without the express written permission of Heartun Breaker, except that an individual may download and/ or forward articles via e-mail to a reasonable number of recipients for personal, non-commercial purposes.
 


 

 




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