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join the "Get A Life" group (with quotes) in Second Life
| Monday, May 28, 2007 |
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Saphic Sophisticate Asks "Want 2 Fuck?"
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 HEY HEARTUN ~ This question isn't really for me; rather its for all those young men who think its cool to cross dress and look for lesbians. I'm a lesbian (online only) and am often recreating at the Isle of Lesbos. The other night this female avatar called (real name substituted with 'Betty') showed up and yelled "Hey, NE1 want 2 fuck?"
Needless to say the 40 girls present responded with LOL's and LMAO's but Betty was serious. With her noobie sandals and Orientation Island stock avatar (the brunette one) it was pretty clear that Betty was an alt. And her behavior made it clear she was really a young man, perhaps a boy. I never understood this kind of behavior, but Betty isn't alone. There are a lot of people out there like this. Do you have any advice for them? ~ SAPPHIC SOPHISTICATE
DEAR SAPPHIC SOPHISTICATE ~ My advice for young men wishing to trick lesbians into cybering with them is simple and two part: play dumb and be patient. The first should be easy for a young stud with the lesbo fetish -- just stand around, maybe with a dance animation loop, and occasionally ask for help. Lesbians love to help noobs, and they'll shower them with tons of nice used clothing, skins and hair. In a short time our young stud will be moulded into a hottie-buh-body avatar by a woman who really knows what looks good.
That requires some patience on our young man's part, but the payoff is worth it. Now that he is properly attired, and has had a fashion maven fawning over him for a while, her friends will find him irresistable. He just has to shut up and not let on that he is a boy. They'll all try to bed him behind each other's backs.
Now, lets deal with the 500 pound gorilla in the room. You say you are a lesbian, but only online. How is that any less devious and deceiving than the young man pretending to be a lesbian? And if you aren't pretending in Second Life, then you are pretending in First Life... and that is even more disturbing. ~ HEARTUN BREAKER
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If you have a question for "Get A Life" just email HeartunBreaker@gmail.com . All submissions become the property of HeartunBreaker.com . We reserve the right to edit submissions for brevity and clarity. No 'real' or 'game' names will be published. No part of this service may be reproduced in any form without the express emailed permission of Heartun Breaker, except that an individual may download and/or forward articles via email to a reasonable number of recipients for personal, non-commercial purposes. Labels: Alts, cybersex, lesbians |
posted by Heartun Breaker @ 7:35 AM
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| Thursday, February 15, 2007 |
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How Much Cybering Is Too Much?
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HEY HEARTUN ~ How much cybering is too much? ~ HANDY MAN
DEAR HANDY MAN ~ For me, three times a day is the limit. Four is too much. Your mileage may vary.
Now in men, stroking the one-eyed trouser snake too much can result in an over production of sex hormones and neurotransmitters like acetylcholine, dopamine and serotonin.
Too much of those things and your adrenal glands can change your body chemistry. Now, jerkin' the gerkin is a healthy thing, but too much (while hard to define) can lead to addiction and both psychological and physiological imbalances. Side effects to look for include:
- Feeling tired all the time
- Lower back pain
- Hair loss or thinning
- Pulling the "Semi" (or half-rection)
- Premature ejaculation (by yourself!!)
- Fuzzy vision (not blindness)
- Pain in the balls, taint, nut sack, tail bone or lower tummy
Semen leakage is also a sign that the parasympathetic nerve is weakening from over stimulation. The parasympathetic nerve shuts the ejaculation valve and maintains a strong erection, but it can weaken if you choke your chicken too much.
Experts say men should keep their ejaculation frequency down to two-to-three times per week, but they can have more sexual activity if they learn how to orgasm without ejaculation. Doing so can make your junk work better too.
Some things you can do to improve the quality of your monkey-spanking sessions is to reduce the frequency, eat more soybean products, cut down on the caffeine, snack on more nutty foods like sunflower seeds, drop the red meat and dairy in favor of fruit and veggies.
Drink more water and ditch the soda. And just in case you ever get a real-life girl to honk on your love muscle - eat peaches and cut down on the salt so it tastes better. ~ HEARTUN BREAKER
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If you have a question for "Get A Life" just email HeartunBreaker@gmail.com . All submissions become the property of
HeartunBreaker.com . We reserve the right to edit submissions for brevity and clarity. No 'real' or 'game' names will be published. No part of this service may be reproduced in any form without the express written permission of Heartun Breaker, except that an individual may download and/or forward articles via e-mail to a reasonable number of recipients for personal, non-commercial purposes. Labels: cybersex, masturbation |
| posted by Heartun Breaker @ 3:57 PM
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| Sunday, January 28, 2007 |
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Red Light District -- Blue Light Special
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 HEY HEARTUN ~ When I came to Second Life I looked around at a lot of jobs so I could make money so I could buy fancy clothes and a sweet little house. I started with pole dancing at a club. After a while I bought a nice enough skin and some animations and sexy clothing and I tried to be a model -- but I couldn't find anyone who wanted to pay me so I switched to being an escort.
I get clients, but most want to argue about my price -- which is amongst the lowest of any of the Escorts I know. Others want me to do gross stuff like AgePlay and Furies. What do I have to do to start making some real money instead of the chump change my patrons kick out? ~ IMA BARBIGURL
DEAR IMA BARBIGURL ~ A hot skin and a bunch of sexy animations do NOT a good whore make! The sex trade in Second Life is robust and a really good whore can get a ton of Linden for getting her (sometimes his) clients hot and bothered. But you have to paint a picture. The sexy pose balls and such are just props -- you gotta work hard for your money. You are selling fantasy.
First off, lets put aside this idea that you are having intercourse. You aren't. Virtual sex is assisted masturbation, sometimes assisted mutual masturbation. Seeing his avatar boinking your avatar is nice, but its the human element behind the avatars that excites him. You've got to find his fantasy first, then provide him with it. Best way to do that is to ask him up front. And you really have to listen, because being an escort is all about getting repeat business... and referrals.
 When he starts telling you about his fantasy, listen carefully and ask leading questions that draw out more details. If you can do this in a quiet place with a casual setting, like a lounge or a bar, that'll help. Even if you are chatting in instant message, paint the picture. This is also a great time to discuss your pricing terms and to get paid. Just like real life this is a cash up front kind of business. A little haggling is allowed on his part but if he tries to beat down your price much you haven't sold him on your ability to satisfy his fantasy. Go back to the beginning and talk up your features and benefits.
When the preliminaries are taken care of go to your love shack and engage him in dialogue that acts out his fantasy. Be detailed. Tell him what you are doing to him. Tell him how what he is doing makes you feel. Be poetic and graphic all at the same time. Learn to pace things. If he busts a nut early, be kind and offer him a complimentary back-rub to enhance the value of the encounter. If he's up for it in a reasonable amount of time, give it another go.
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If you have a question for "Get A Life" just email HeartunBreaker@gmail.com . All submissions become the property of
HeartunBreaker.com . We reserve the right to edit submissions for brevity and clarity. No 'real' or 'game' names will be published. No part of this service may be reproduced in any form without the express written permission of Heartun Breaker, except that an individual may download and/or forward articles via e-mail to a reasonable number of recipients for personal, non-commercial purposes. Labels: cybersex, money |
| posted by Heartun Breaker @ 11:24 PM
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| Wednesday, January 24, 2007 |
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See You, See Me
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 HEY HEARTUN ~ Sex in Second Life never really attracted me, I mean it isn't really sex... you know? And ever since I divorced my second husband I just hadn't given a crap about involving anyone else in my pursuit of the 'Big O' -- you know?
But this guy I met the second day I was in Second Life talked me into getting a web cam. Have you ever used one of those? (giggles) He's half my age (still quite legal, I'm no spring chicken!) but we start off playing in SL and soon enough (giggles) we've got our web cams going too and we're pleasing ourselves and IT'S JUST SO DIRTY I COULD DIE! (giggles)
I'm a mid-40's mother of five! And he acts like I'm a goddess! Oh, and Heartun, he is soooo hot! I didn't date men this hot when I was younger and looked my best. ~ DIRTY MILFSTER
 DEAR DIRTY MILFSTER ~ First off, just because you sag here and there doesn't make you too old for sex. The only organ required for good sex is the brain, the rest are certainly nice -- but totally not necessary if you can get turned on by someone (or by yourself!)
It sounds like you've got two issues going on here: you dig being a dirty, dirty girl and you are completely flattered that a hot young guy appears to dig you.
First, let me say that you are a dirty, dirty girl. Maybe you should ask your boy to punish you. He may be old enough to play, but may not know how to take charge and the art of being dirty involves dominance. So urge him to give you little tasks. If he can't come up with something, try to hint that it would be sexy if he were to order you to go to work in a skirt an no undies -- and send him an email or an IM from your workplace about how it feels. Urge him to take charge and to challenge your comfort zone.
Second, you seem to be surprised that a pretty young man would be turned on by a woman who's been there and done that. Don't be. This guy may not be in it for the long haul, but is that a bad thing? I mean, enjoy him until you find better or he loses interest! This is just good sex play! Young men aren't often faithful, but some of them are smart enough to know a good thing when they see it -- and you are so sexually repressed, bursting at the seams, served on a stick horny and ready to go you just scream 'fuck me hard!'
Have some fun. Don't hold back. ~ HEARTUN BREAKER
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If you have a question for "Get A Life" just email HeartunBreaker@gmail.com . All submissions become the property of
HeartunBreaker.com . We reserve the right to edit submissions for brevity and clarity. No 'real' or 'game' names will be published. No part of this service may be reproduced in any form without the express written permission of Heartun Breaker, except that an individual may download and/or forward articles via e-mail to a reasonable number of recipients for personal, non-commercial purposes. Labels: cybersex, masturbation |
| posted by Heartun Breaker @ 10:55 PM
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| Sunday, January 21, 2007 |
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Sex, Drugs and Gay Fur
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 HEY HEARTUN ~ I'm a homosexual who lives in Montana -- land of cowboys and intolerance -- and I live with my parents while I go to college. I want to get the hell out of this square, underpopulated, shit hole some day but for now I'm kind of stuck here. There are no gay bars or hangouts here. My only real outlet for my sexuality is here in Second Life, where I am a Gay Furry.
When I first joined I was such a slut! But since then I've settled down a bit and have had a couple of semi-monogamous relationships, one of which I am in now. This new guy knows some of my real life contact information too -- a post office box I keep for personal stuff. And he sends me Viagra and meth to enhance our sexual play. First I just tried the Viagra, and LOVE it!! but had been afraid to try the meth. My curiosity won out though, and I was blown away. The experience, especially when combined with Viagra, sex toys, and prolonged sexual play both on SL and through web cams, is absolutely amazing.
Now my lover is pushing to meet up in real life, something I'm not really comfortable with -- but he has the Viagra and meth, and I do like him even though I don't know that I trust him that much. I feel very vulnerable, but this is amazingly exciting! ~ MALE ORDER BRIDE
 DEAR MALE ORDER BRIDE ~ When I was in college I used to take my vacations and go cross country hitchhiking to visit friends and explore America. It was exciting! I got an incredible adrenaline rush whenever a stranger pulled over to pick me up. Most of the people I encountered were really quite nice and often very interesting. Unfortunately, a few were not nice at all.
It was a steep and painful learning curve, but I quickly learned to go with my gut right away. If someone pulled over to pick me up and in that 10 seconds we size each other up as I open the door and say "How far you going?" they -- in any way -- made me uncomfortable, I would back off. Many times I couldn't even put a finger on what it was about them that was unsettling. Often, like this one time on I-65 just north of Birmingham, Ala., I knew I was looking into the eyes of a serial killer or rapist.
Every time I said "Thanks for pulling over, but I think I'll pass" the driver knew I was basically calling him a perv. All of them would curse me out at that point. I'm sure I misjudged some of them. But every single time, early on, that I ignored my initial gut reaction I quickly regretted it.
MOB, I'm not going to lecture you on the dangers of taking drugs. You are old enough to know that you are tap-dancing on thin ice with that anyway. But regarding a real life hook up with this guy -- give it a pass. Trust your gut. You all but said you think he's got a dangerous agenda, and lets face it -- he is sending you drugs through the mail and knows you are in a remote place with a big secret, and are highly vulnerable. If you can't ditch the drugs I'm sure you can find a new dealer, no place is so remote that drugs can't be found. ~ HEARTUN BREAKER
(NOTE: Not me in the photo)
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If you have a question for "Get A Life" just email HeartunBreaker@gmail.com . All submissions become the property of
HeartunBreaker.com . We reserve the right to edit submissions for brevity and clarity. No 'real' or 'game' names will be published. No part of this service may be reproduced in any form without the express written permission of Heartun Breaker, except that an individual may download and/or forward articles via e-mail to a reasonable number of recipients for personal, non-commercial purposes. Labels: cybersex, Furry, real life conflicts |
| posted by Heartun Breaker @ 1:34 PM
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| Thursday, December 28, 2006 |
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Monkey Love -- But What About My Wife?
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 HEY HEARTUN: "I cheated on my wife with 3 dogs a monkey and a half galon jug of KY Jelly, should I tell her?" ~RYMES WITH 'CHORUS'
DEAR CHORUS: I don't see why not. Sounds like a good Second Life party... maybe she will want to join in next time.
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If you have a question for "Get a Life" just email HeartunBreaker@gmail.com. All submissions become the property of HeartunBreaker.com. We reserve the right to edit submissions for brevity and clarity. No 'real' or 'game' names will be published. No part of this service may be reproduced in any form without the express written permission of Heartun Breaker, except that an individual may download and/ or forward articles via e-mail to a reasonable number of recipients for personal, non-commercial purposes.
Labels: Cheating, cybersex, Furry |
| posted by Heartun Breaker @ 9:41 AM
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| Thursday, December 21, 2006 |
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Cyber-Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
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HEY HEARTUN~ Can you still be friends with someone after you've cybered. Even if you don't want to cyber with them any more? ~FRIENDS FOREVER
DEAR FRIENDS~
 The short answer is 'no.' But it's more complicated than that.
Cyber sex is the safest thing out there, and lets face it... it is convenient. Assisted masturbation can be very exciting, but if that's all you've got with your partner that partnership may fade with time. It sounds like that is what happened here -- from what little you gave us to go with -- and I'm guessing you just don't want to be a jerk and drop your boreing lover like an adult. So you'll pull the 'lets be friends' routine and meet with the predictable results. Your lover will know they are being spurned, get pissed off or clingy, and give you a reason to drop them where you can blame THEM for the breakup.
After all, you still wanted to be friends and they got all weird on you. Right?
Be an adult. Just tell them you are no longer getting what you want out of the relationship and need to move on. After a cooling off period, if you run into them again, try being friends with them. And as for your next conquest, try being friends first. See if you have something in common besides mutual masturbation and one handed typing.
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If you have a question for "Get a Life" just email HeartunBreaker@gmail.com. All submissions become the property of HeartunBreaker.com. We reserve the right to edit submissions for brevity and clarity. No 'real' or 'game' names will be published. No part of this service may be reproduced in any form without the express written permission of Heartun Breaker, except that an individual may download and/ or forward articles via e-mail to a reasonable number of recipients for personal, non-commercial purposes.
Labels: cybersex |
| posted by Heartun Breaker @ 9:14 PM
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Disclaimer: All submissions to "Get a Life" become the property of HeartunBreaker.com. We reserve the right to edit submissions for brevity
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without the express written permission of Heartun Breaker, except that an individual may download and/ or forward
articles via e-mail to a reasonable number of recipients for personal, non-commercial purposes.
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