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Monday, December 25, 2006
Gangsta asks "She Lyin. What Ima Do? I Hella Mad!"

HEY HEARTUN~ My wife, girlfriend, 'partner' whatever -- I think she cheating on me. We ben talking about her livin Textas (sic) and moving up to me in Detroit and what not. We good together. We play alla time. But month ago she play that Wow (World of Warcraft) game now she dont come on SL hardly never!!!!

I ask if she cheeting (sic) but she say "no" but I see she on with the AIM (AOL Instant Messenger) alla time but she ignore me some time so I thinking she on Wow with some dude!!!

When she DO come play SL she all "No, my computer just on. I was out." but I no she lyin. What Ima do? I hella mad but she don no that yit. ~HELLA 'G'

DEAR HELLA~ When did gangstas start playing Second Life? Um -- never. Whether you are black or white or Latino or Asian, you've got to drop the 'too cool for school' hip-hop mode of speech because it just doesn't work in an online environment. Face it, if you are here YOU ARE A GEEK. It's just a question of to what extend or degree your geekiness extends.

Now, to your question, I presume you've tried to get her WoW name with the intention of stalking her there. Since you didn't mention it I'm guessing that she didn't divulge that information. So here's what you do. Trick her by acting extra trusting. When she isn't around, don't send her messages but when she is around say things like "I like hanging around you" and ask her to tell you about her day. Use complete sentences. Act caring and concerned for her well being. Don't let on that you are needy and distrustful. Act like every moment with her is a gift that makes you happy.

It's just a guess but I doubt she's ever experienced that from you so these new emotions you evoke in her will throw her off guard. She'll actually start spending more time with you instead of ignoring your IMs, lying to you about where she is, and trotting off to WoW to cyber some troll. ~ HEARTUN BREAKER

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If you have a question for "Get a Life" just email HeartunBreaker@gmail.com. All submissions become the property of HeartunBreaker.com. We reserve the right to edit submissions for brevity and clarity. No 'real' or 'game' names will be published. No part of this service may be reproduced in any form without the express written permission of Heartun Breaker, except that an individual may download and/ or forward articles via e-mail to a reasonable number of recipients for personal, non-commercial purposes.

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posted by Heartun Breaker @ 8:41 AM  
1 Comments:
  • At December 28, 2006 at 11:52 PM, Blogger Catero said…

    Hella G, get your ass off the camping chairs in Los Altos, pull up your pixelated pants and start using proper sentence structure, spelling and grammar. Wifey got tired of your overuse of sloppy ebonics because worthwhile girls aren't impressed with that and she moved on, kicking your shit "to the left, to the left". You should do the same. There's only so one can put up with before its not "cute" anymore.

    Keep positive. Let this be a lesson to you. Retire your gangsta ass. Clear out the poor pimps and homeless hustlers from your calling cards. Go to Naughty Island or X2: Exotica. Invest in a skin that doesn't look like it's been slathered in Crisco (stay the fuck away from the Made Men store).

    Search events for a nice educational event, discussion group, or live music show. Keep your fucken mouth shut and watch how people interact with each other. Take notes and learn through intellectual osmosis. Once you've absorbed it you will be fit to join the rest of society and find a fulfilling relationship.

    Good luck.

     
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